(cars in distance)
Brother William, would you like to read today?
O, God, our heavenly father,
who has commanded us to love one another as Thy children.
(man screams)
I could have killed them all. I could have killed you.
In town, you're the law. Out here, it's me.
Don't push it.
Don't push it or I will give you a war you won't believe.
- (man gasps) - Let it go.
Let it go.
(man) He's stuck there. He can't go any place!
(second man) If you don't fly this thing, Ray,
I swear to God, I am going to kill you.
(gunshots)
(man) Hold it steady, you son of a bitch!
(man whoops) Get that man a cigar!
- (man) Get in the car. - (woman) Get in the car!
William. William, your lace.
William, where did you find this? This watch doesn't belong to you.
Do you understand?
Jess, stop it. You put it back where you found it, William.
(clicks tongue)
(woman) Voila. Montez-le. Comme ça.
Toute droite. Toute droite comme ca, un petit peut plus.
Tres bien. Bravo, c'est magnifique.
(pine cone clatters)
(man) I am saying it might be in your interest to listen,
and you'd do well to keep your wits about you when I talk about scree.
OK? So, show time.
Er, thanks for your help.
Erm, we're going to be watching a documentary now,
and you're not allowed to watch television, are you?
Right, you got something to be getting on with? OK, good.
Right.
(man) That is expensive and not for you to be messing around with, alright?
(TV) Fire. When treated with care, it can be man's greatest tool.
But, if used incorrectly,
it can be his most deadly foe.
(screaming from TV)
- (door bangs) - (man) That's it!
- (boy) What? - (man) You know damn well what!
(boy) I don't have a tennis ball!
- (door bangs) - (children cheer)
(ball thuds)
(ball thuds rhythmically)
(thudding stops)
Go on. Fetch.
Nice drawings. (imitates explosion)
- Rarrr! - My book!
Oh, sorry. There you go.
Don't you want it? I thought you said you wanted it. Hmm?
- I thought you said you wanted it! - No!
(man) Morning, Janet. A couple of miscreants
for the attention of "She Who Must Be".
- Lee Can'ter, sit down. - Yeah.
- Sit down. - Alright.
He's got St Vitus' Dance, that one, I tell you.
(man) OK, thank you.
What is your name?
Will Proudfoot.
Listen, mate,
I don't mind taking the blame for this if you like.
But, er, if I do, you, er, might have to give me something in return.
Fair enough. I always fancied a watch.
You probably don't mind getting a letter sent home and being tortured.
Didn't you know? About the torture?
Oh, yeah. The last time she tortured me,
I could barely stand up for a week. Pain like you'd never believe.
Doctor said they might have to amputate it off.
(buzzer)
Well, can't keep the lady waiting, can we?
Let's just, er, get this over and done with.
(buzzer)
- I will pray for you, Lee Can'ter. - Cheers.
(buzzer)
(panting) Dear God, make sure Lee Can'ter doesn't get... too badly hurt.
(rumbling / cheering)
- (band play upbeat tune) - (woman) Now, voici Michelle Gina.
Sharon Davy, Michelle DuBois.
- (all cheer) - Gail Graham?
Dit bonjour a Marie Planté.
David Smart.
Voici monsieur Lucas Dupont.
- Duncan Miller? - Yep.
Voici Monsieur Didier Revol!
(all gasp)
(music stops)
Bienvenue, Didier.
(band play upbeat tune)
(groans)
- Let me help you, Lee Can'ter. - (groans)
God, that bitch was rough. She must have loved that bloody goldfish.
I will be alright though, in a week. Maybe two. I don't know.
Can you... smell that?
That stench is the smell
- of Lee Can'ter. - Up yours, Tina.
- Scab. - Slapper.
- Scab. - Er, slapper.
- Scab. - I blame the parents.
Well, that's me, then. I'd better be off.
(groans)
No, don't worry, I will be fine. (groans)
Time heals all wounds. Oh, God!
(Can'ter) Come on! Damn it!
Had to be the one with the bloody trailer on the back, didn't it?
- Where are you going? - Oh, erm...
the Head said I could have the afternoon off after her torturing me.
How can you cycle with your leg all bad?
- Right here? - Yeah, exactly.
(cow moos)
- (Will) Is this where you live? - (Can'ter) Yeah, this is my house.
Yeah. Of course it isn't, you idiot. It's a short cut. Keep pedalling.
(brakes squeak)
Hey, boy, that video you're selling me, it all wonky.
I can't see nothing but fuzzy lights.
I told you about that, Dora. It's your tracking.
Are you alright, Frank?
- That's Frank. - (coins rattle)
(Will) So, this is where you live?
(Can'ter) Oh, no. This is the family business. My home's through here.
So, this is your home?
Yep, this is it. Home, sweet home.
(buzzing)
Hold that a sec.
What are you doing?
I know what we could do.
If you don't tell me where they are hiding, then I have no choice
but to shoot you and your cat. Do you have any last requests?
I...
Skill. Skills on toast.
You know, I have been thinking. The watch is nice, but, well,
it only really covers me getting tortured.
I did have to, you know, take the blame and lie.
What do I get for all that?
I don't have another watch.
I don't mean another watch. I get to choose how you pay me back, right?
- Right. - To properly pay me back,
you will be the stuntman in the film I am making for Screen Test,
and you're not allowed to tell anyone or I will smash your face in. Alright?
- What's Screen Test? - Exactly. Top secret.
- (car approaches) - Oh, shit. It's Lawrence.
- Get up there. - What?
Get up there! Go! Come on!
- Lawrence. - You made them pirates of Rambo?
Yeah. I was just doing it.
Don't use my camera for that Screen Test bollocks.
I wasn't! Honest! Lawrence, get them off me!
Get off!
- (Lawrence) Come on. - (Can'ter) Get off! Ow!
More torture?
Yeah. It's not my day.
(music plays)
Oh, yeah, stay there. I will be back in a minute.
- Hello, mate. - Ooh-ohh!
- What is that all about? - Ooh-ohh!
Happy birthday, bro.
You... Oi!
You thought I'd forgot, didn't you?
("Close To Me" The Cure plays on radio)
- These are very nice. Thanks, mate. - Cheers, mate.
Don't push it.
Don't push it or I will give you a war you won't believe.
- (man gasps) - Let it go.
(gunshots / rotors whir)
(man) You don't want to accept the fact that you're dealing with an expert
in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best with guns,
with knives, with his bare hands, a man who's been trained
to ignore pain, ignore weather,
to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke.
In Vietnam, his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill. Period.
Win by attrition.
Well, Rambo was the best.
Are you telling me 200 men against your boy is a no-win situation?
- You send that many, don't forget... - What?
A good supply of body bags.
200 men!
He's gone.
You can come down now.
Do you have any last requests?
(china smashes)
Oi, stuntman, your face was well funny on that one.
(pants)
(yells)
- (yells) - (dog barks)
- (imitates gunfire) - (woman) Henry, come back here!
(dog barks)
(voice booms) Who are you?
Who are you?
(thunder)
- I am the son of Rambo! - (thunder)
What have you done with my Dad?
No!
(yells)
(deep voice) The sins you commit are for the good of others.
Come on, Dad. We're going home.
(pants)
(explosion)
(TV) The wheel is man's greatest invention,
but it is the greatest bringer of death.
(tyres screech / crashing)
- (door slams) - (children cheer)
You told anyone you were over at my house?
I swear to God, if you tell anyone I am making this film,
I will smash your face in. You still owe me, right?
So be at my house at ten tomorrow.
And don't be late.
We have finished watching TV now. You can come back in.
(teacher) You will learn something very much to your advantage.
Yes, I promise to astonish you
with news of how a river can operate
above the level of the flood plain, OK?
And how do they do that? How does a river operate
above the level of the flood plain? Is it because it's a bit arrogant,
thinks it's a bit better than the flood plain,
or is it because of active deposition of silt in times of flood?
Arrogant river? Deposition of silt?
It is actually the silt, and I am going to show you...
Erm, the silt goes into a sort of super silt.
Bless, O Lord, this food to our use and bless us to your service,
make us mindful of the needs of others, through Jesus Christ, Amen.
(mother) Jess! Jess!
Only you could lose something strapped to your wrist.
I should have taken it off you.
Don't go in that shed again. Do you understand?
Do you understand?!
I need you all up early for the preaching tomorrow.
- But I can't come. - Of course you can.
- No, see, there's this boy at school... - There's lots of boys.
No, I mean... This one was badly hurt,
and I promised to help him with his chores tomorrow.
What happened to him?
He... He had a terrible accident,
and I promised I'd help him with his chores tomorrow.
That's...
That's very kind of you.
Look, I am sorry for getting angry all the time.
It's... Anyway, you can go and help this boy if you want.
Thanks, Mummy.
(sizzling)
("I Can't Wait" Nu Shooz plays on radio)
Two minutes.
(doorbell)
Good morning, Lee Can'ter. I am here to help you!
Jesus Christ!
(Lawrence) Oi! The bacors burning!
Get in that bush.
(Will whispers) I am waiting in the bush. Shhh!
- Who was it? - Oh, some Bible-basher. Here.
Want brown sauce on that or what?
Oi! What about my tea?
- Ready? - Ready!
Three, two, one, go!
(Will screams)
(Will groans)
- You alright? - I am alright, Lee Can'ter!
- Ready? - Yep, ready!
And action!
(Will yells)
Cut! Cut! (laughs)
And cut. Great.
- Ready? - Yep, ready!
Right. Action!
(screams)
- (snapping) - (Will) Ow! Uh! Ohh!
Great. Cut. You alright, Will?
Will?
You alright, buddy?
- (yells) - What are you doing?
(yells) I am the son of Rambo!
(yells)
Hang on. You want to be the son of Rambo?
(wings flutter)
(alarm)
- I have to go now. - Come back tomorrow.
- I ain't finished yet. - OK. Bye, then.
Oh, and I am glad your legs are feeling better.
Nutcase.
- (clattering) - (Will) Ow!
Oh.
I don't know if I have made enough for five.
I could share mine with you, if you like, Brother Joshua.
Oh, no. Well, erm... that won't be...
I am not staying. I just...
I will see you in the morning for prayer meeting.
Yes!
(bird squawks)
(owl hoots)
(sawing)
(dog barks)
(knock at door)
- Ah. You all set? - Mother had an accident in the night.
- Ah. Oh, dear. - Two minutes.
Of course.
(Will) I tried to dress Grandma, but Jess took over.
William... your shoes.
You got something else to wear? We're leaving for prayer meeting now.
- Oh, William. - Shall I take them to the menders'
- and meet you there? - (thudding)
(Jess) Mummy! Grandma's lying on the floor!
(sighs) Yes. Meet us there. Sorry about this.
Not a problem.
- Good morning, William. - Good morning, Brother Joshua.
Should be ready by three o'clock.
(Will) Thank you.
(bell rings)
(man) Keep it in a straight line, woman!
- This is why I won't let you drive! - Jesus!
- I have got everything! - (bottles clink)
Yeah, I can see that, you freak!
(buzzing)
(electricity crackles)
- Wow! - Thanks.
I think that's everyone.
I am sure he will wait for us here.
- (Can'ter) What's the dog thingy? - (Will) That's the flying dog.
He guards the prison where the scarecrow keeps my dad, Rambo.
(Can'ter) Right, and why have they got him prisoner?
(Will) He's an evil scarecrow.
(Can'ter) And then you save him, yeah?
Yes!
OK, we will do your story, but we're doing it my way.
It doesn't mean I have to split the prize with you, OK?
(Will) Yes, Colonel! Whoo-hoo!
Son of Rambo, Take One. Click.
(Can'ter) OK, ready and action!
I have come to save you, Rambo!
We need to leave here right now before the evil scarecrow finds us!
Oh. What about my tea?
Oh, son, it's like a prison with them lot
marching in and out every five minutes, shouting at you,
turning you over while you're trying to sleep.
"Eat your food," they say. It's not fit for dogs.
And the screams at night. There's folk screaming in their beds.
But I don't know if they're hurting or just... afraid of something.
I am rescuing you, Father! We're going to escape!
I need to spend a penny first.
Lord have mercy! What are you doing? I will kill you! Get out of here!
They make you look so stupid! They should be ashamed what they do to you.
The boy's taking me home.
The boys was just pretending. You're not going nowhere, pops.
You're staying in your room.
Yes.
(sniffs) They're on our trails.
You'd better swing across the lake. I will get back up.
Meet you in the prison in one hour.
Don't worry, I am trained to ignore pain and live off the land.
Just go!
They're firing at us! Take cover!
(gunshots / "Ride Of The Valkyries"plays)
OK!
Yeah, keep swimming to the other side.
I can't swim!
What do you mean, you can't swim?
Oh, shit!
(both pant / cough)
Thank you for coming to save me, Colonel Trautman.
(both laugh)
Will?
(alarm)
(Will) I will just have to say I got lost or something. I don't know.
If this film doesn't win Screen Test, I am going to be a monkey's uncle.
Right, come on. We're going to be blood brothers now.
- What's blood brothers? - Come here.
How long do we have to hold it like this for?
Until we hear that wood pigeon again.
I gave your watch to my brother.
Oh, so I won't ever get it back, then?
No. He likes it.
Wasn't mine anyway. It was my dad's.
Is he pissed off with you?
He's dead.
Oh. Right.
- How did he die? - Mowing the lawn.
It wasn't the mowing that did it, you idiot.
He had a thing called an aneurysm.
A little vein in his head popped, and that was that.
He just, sort of, fell to the ground
and the lawnmower kept going and tipped up and... into the fence
and made this really loud noise as if it was hungry or something.
It kept going "Rrrr," until they switched it off.
- Jesus! I hope my veins don't pop. - Me, too.
My brother said you can kill someone with one punch.
Really? Yeah. If you hit them right in the nose,
their bone goes up through their brain and kills them.
Wow! Has he ever killed anyone like that?
No. He could if he wanted to, though. He's pretty skill at everything.
Do you like him?
Well, yeah, Of course I do. He's my brother, isn't he?
What about your dad?
My dad? No. He pissed off before I was born.
Then my mum met Colin, the bloke with the big hair? He owns the care home,
so we all live there. It's alright, I suppose.
But he lives in Spain, so my mum's always over there with him.
She gets tons of duty-free and stuff,
which is kind of skill, because it's mostly just me and Lawrence.
We get to do what we want, muck about. There's no-one to tell us off.
Seriously, though, parents...
You're pretty much better off without them. That's what I say.
- Colonel Trautman. - Yeah?
Not including the bit about losing my dad's watch,
this has been my best day of all time.
(wood pigeon calls)
Oh! We have scabbed.
(both) O my God, I have come to say thank you for your love today.
Thank you for my family and all the friends you give to me.
Guard me in the dark of night and in the morning, send your light.
Amen.
He's been lying, Mary.
He's confused. He's trying to be a good Samaritan.
You have had more than your share of loss in life,
and none of us wants to see you lose your son to outsiders,
but you must speak with him now.
(Joshua) Warn him. Let him know that the path he is on
can lead only to misery, not just for himself but for all of you.
There's a group meeting tomorrow. I thought it might do him good
to come along, get him back on track.
- Could you get him out of school? - Of course. I will make sure he's ready.
Well... good night, Mary.
And the Lord must greatly resent the attempt to pursue a double life
that goes hand in hand with the world
and presuming to be fully brethren at the same time.
Hear, hear.
God is faithful, who has called us into the fellowship of his Son.
It works out that way, instead of being enticed.
God doesn't entice anybody into evil.
We're enticed, led astray, by our own flesh,
according to the scripture.
(brakes squeak)
Oi, you! Come back!
- Come on, then! - (man) Oi, you! Come back!
See ya!
My father won't send us to your school. He said the pupils are a bad influence.
Is it true, Brother William?
I suppose so.
What are you looking at?
(cow moos)
Well, you will be wearing this stuff one day, mate.
(explosions)
Thank you for taking him, Joshua.
We all need a little guidance from time to time.
I'd hoped he might see me as a kind of father figure.
- You were hungry. - Yes, very.
Well, I'd better be going.
- Good night, Mary. - Good night. Good night.
- What was he saying? - Come with me.
He thought you were great. Really, he did.
- (sighs) - Next!
Where have you been, eh?
If you didn't want to make this film, you should have said,
rather than leaving me on my own covered in ketchup!
We're blood brothers, or have you not remembered?
I had to go to a meeting! It's our religion!
- Oh, my itchy blue beard. - They made me go and it was all day!
- I am not supposed to be your friend. - What's wrong with me?
- I am Plymouth Brethren. - What is that supposed to mean?
- It's our religion. - Bollocks, Will!
It's true. If they find out we're friends,
I will be in the worst trouble ever.
I didn't forget, Lee Can'ter.
They made me go. I swear it, on my heart!
I am not allowed to make the film with you any more. It's forbidden.
Well, I didn't want to make it with you, anyway.
You, er, left your alarm clock in my locker. You'd better go and get it.
OK.
Son of Rambo,
say, hello, to your new
flying dog.
- Did you make this? - Yeah.
You made my flying dog!
We have got ten minutes before lessons. Let's go.
- It looks just like my drawings! - Alright, are you ready?
- Yep. - OK. Three, two, one, go! Whoo-hoo!
Thank you, Lee Can'ter! It looks real!
Right, down, boy.
Non.
Thanks for coming. Next, Lucy Rogers, monsieur.
Wait. Wait here, ladies.
- Do you want more Coke? - Forget this.
- Forget this? - Oui, forget this.
But there's lots more for you to have a go on. I can get others.
St Mary's is just down the road, and they're all Catholic. (groans)
He's bored. He's so bored. I don't know what to do.
That... looks just like a flying dog.
Whoa! Whoa! Mind the trees!
- I can't control it! - You're going towards the building!
- Hold on! - I can't!
(screams)
(siren wails)
Can'ter! Don't you dare move, you bally boy!
- Lee Can'ter! - At least we got the shot.
Alright, skills. Get my camera and put it in your locker.
Don't let anyone see you or you will be in deep shit. Catch up with you later.
You will get in trouble. You will be tortured again!
Oh, don't worry. Just go.
(siren wails)
Can'ter!
Where's my book?
This is great. It's amazing.
- Wow! He's going to love it. - Yeah. Yeah, I think he will.
(all boo)
- Lee Can'ter! - Don't worry, it's a week's suspension.
Get in the car!
(Lawrence) Shut up! Get in the car.
(teacher) Pipe down!
(teacher) Sam Taylor-Wood, I will get you inside!
- going to miss your scabby little friend? - (teacher) Inside now!
(teacher) That means you!
- ("Cars" by Gary Numan plays) - What?
You said you were coming back last week.
What? What?!
Look... Look, hold on a sec, Mum.
- Oi, it's Mum. - Skill! Say hello for me.
He says hello. Hello back.
Now everyone's said hello, when are you coming back
because the place is turning into a shit hole?
(opera music plays)
You live by the gun,
you die by the gun.
We are soldiers.
We know only to fight.
(imitates gunshot)
(groans)
(groans) I see a big light in the sky.
Adieu.
You make movie?
To be star of movie is my dream, my friend.
You want to be in our film?
Yeah. Yeah.
My book.
I will be star of your movie.
Do you want... Do you want some bubble gum?
(Didier) I am French, non?
What you doing? Me ask you to clean the window, not play with it!
Put some elbow grease into it! Listen, boy, clean my window!
I want to see my face in the window!
- (groans) - There you go, Mike.
Cheers, Keith.
Still, we do get to spend a glorious week without devil-child Can'ter.
Yeah.
- (growls) - (screams) Jesus Christ!
- You stupid bastard! - (all laugh)
(laughs sarcastically) Laughs!
Walkies!
(yells)
(roars)
(yells)
(roars)
- Who are you, sir? - Zey call me ze Wolf.
I know ze earth, I know ze sky...
...and I know ze tree.
I am Son Of Rambo. I come in peace to you, Wolf.
Salut, son of Rambo.
I am trying to find my dad.
We go by there and by there, and I help you to find your daddy man.
Oh. Thanks ever so much. Let's go!
And cut. That was great!
English fool! (yells)
- (imitates gunfire) - Cut!
Thanks.
(alarm clock rings)
- Where did you get that gun? - Ze Wolf is bad, non?
- It looks real. - Hmm, yeah.
Oh, and just so you know,
- "cut" means stop. - It's not a problem for me.
One last word to those of you out there.
You can still enter for the Young Filmmakers competition.
You need to be under 17 next August 30th,
but here's an address to write to. Screen Test, BBC Television...
("A View To A Kill" by Duran Duran plays)
It's OK. He is with me.
Swing across the lake. I will get backup.
I will meet you in one hour.
(Can'ter) Die, Son of Rambo!
(Can'ter) I am back!
It's OK! He's only joking! He always does that. Don't you, Lee Can'ter?
Stop.
Wait! Wait! They're going to help us make the film!
He's from France, and he's an actor. Aren't you?
- Yeah. - My nose. Is it bleeding?
They want to be in our film. They're on our side. Isn't that brilliant?
- Yeah, but they hate me. - Not any more.
And Didier's a really amazing actor.
- It's going to be skill! - Skill?
- Yeah, skill! - No.
It doesn't sound right when you say things like me.
Just keep to your spazzy way of saying stuff.
(whirring)
I am the evil scarecrow! Prepare to die!
In this diagram, there are 20 small squares in each rectangle.
The diagram shows one quarter, subtract one fifth.
Five squares, subtract four squares...
...equals one square, one twentieth.
This can be written as one quarter subtract one fifth.
- Wait. - It's OK. He's with me.
# This week's top 40 on Radio One
# Number 16
# "Peek-a-Boo" by Siouxsie And The Banshees
We're in the sixth form common room!
What are we doing here?
It's great, isn't it?
# Creeping up the back stairs
# Slinking into dark stalls
# Shapeless and slumped in bathchairs
# Furtive eyes peep out of holes
# She has many guises
# She will do what you want her to
# Playing dead and sweet submission
# Cracks the whip deadpan on cue
It smells like real cake.
# Peek-a-boo
(Space Dust crackles)
- Your film's going to be on Screen Test? - Yes!
Skill!
# Reeking like a pigsty
# Peeling back and gagging free
Are you that little boy making a film with Didier?
- Uh-huh. - Can we be in it? Please?
Those earrings make you look like an angel.
(both giggle)
# I just can't get enough I just can't get enough
(girl) There you go.
# And when it rains You're shining down for me
# And I just can't get enough I just can't get enough
# Just like a rainbow You know you set me free
# And I just can't get enough I just can't get enough
- We have got to get out of here. - We have just arrived!
Yeah, but it's rubbish. I hate it.
(all cheer)
(insects chirrup)
(hums)
(Mother) Shhh.
When I was your age,
I always used to walk past this bakery on the way to prayer meeting.
One day I heard the most wonderful music
coming from the radio inside, and it really was like...
like the sweetest hymn I'd ever heard.
I couldn't get it out of my head.
I always used to walk past hoping to hear it again, but I never did.
So I found a record player.
I bought the song from a record shop,
and I had to hum the tune to the salesman,
because I didn't know its name. I couldn't wait to get it home.
I was so excited. I wanted my mum and dad to hear it.
He was protecting me...
... and our way of life.
Promise me you will put these things out of your mind, William.
- I promise. - I know it's hard, but...
it's for your own good in the long run.
I will never betray the Brethren again.
I promise.
Good night, my darling.
(insects chirrup)
(rattling)
(gibbering)
(whistles)
(eerie wailing)
(whistles)
You're late.
- Kiss my arse. - Oh, yeah? You and whose army?
- What? - That doesn't make any sense.
- Oi! What you lot doing here? - Takes one to know one.
- What? - That's your funeral, Popeye.
Jesus. Everyone's gone mental.
(chattering)
- Alright. Is this what you wanted? - Yes. Thank you, Duncan.
OK.
- Oh, my God! - Isn't he brilliant?
- He looks like a complete cock. - (coughs)
May I have some Cokey-Cola?
Coca-Cola coming up.
(coughs / clears throat)
(boy) Has anyone got any paper?
- I feel ze evil. - (imitating his accent) Feel ze evil?
Shh! We not make loud, or...
I am the evil scarecrow! Prepare to die!
- Stand back! I will take him! - No! This is a job for ze Wolf!
(howls)
- Wait! Wait! - Non!
(girl) Are you alright?
He's dead!
He's not dead. It's just concussion.
Come back to us.
- Come back to us... - (girl) He's moving. He's moving.
(all chatter)
- What did you do that for? - I was acting.
- You hit him in the face. - It's my film.
- You said it was my film. - I don't like it. I am taking it back.
(sighs)
Oi! Give that back!
- (Can'ter) Oi! - (stone clicks on window)
- (stone clicks again) - Oi!
Will!
Oi!
Peace! Blood brothers!
Shh! We're not filming for another five hours!
I am coming up.
(groans)
- You're breaking my house! - Well, let me in, then, you bastard!
I will get in trouble if they see you.
Oh, for Chrissakes! Look, I am sorry, OK?
- Shh! - Can't we just make the film?
Just you and me! I have brought you a present.
- You will wake my mum! - It was better when it was just us two.
You said it was my film. Now you want to ruin it, on the last day!
No, it's not you. It's them! I hate them!
They're two-faced!
You know, I come all this way just to say sorry.
I even brought you a present, you ungrateful little bastard!
Wait! Will!
Wait! I didn't mean it!
(sighs) Shit!
You look so tired, William.
(car engine approaches)
(tyres crunch on gravel)
What's he doing here?
Joshua's taking you away for a few days.
Will!
William! William!
What is wrong with you, brother? You are bringing shame on this family!
- Let go of me! - It's over. You're coming with me now.
- You're not my dad! - We're brethren!
I hate the Brethren! And I hate you!
- (groans) - William! Stop!
Wow!
- (children chatter) - Thank goodness you're here!
Guns are over there. Scarecrow head's here.
You look lovely, ladies. Keep it up.
We're just about to get the car started.
Erm, is this alright, Will?
It's perfect. Get ready.
- Good morning, Didier. - Good morning.
What are you doing? Get back to work.
- (engine starts) - Yes! Well done, guys!
(girl) Is this alright, Will?
- A bit more green paint. - You heard him. Green paint!
- (blows whistle) - (girl) I have only got blue.
Oi. What's ze Wolf doing in my costume?
He's driving the jeep for the getaway scene.
- I am Trautman. I am driving the jeep. - You can't drive.
- It's a piece of piss. - Don't be stupid.
Alright, then. Well, if I am not needed, I will be taking my camera back, then.
- You promised! - Yeah?
What would you know about promises, blood brother?
- Don't push it. - Yeah? You need to grow up!
- You drew first blood. - And you're a head case!
It's just a scab. It doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't hurt!
Yeah?
Well, does that hurt? Huh?
(all) Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Me and my brother will kill you lot! - You're both scabs.
I dare any of you to say that about my brother! I dare you!
- (all) Fight! Fight! Fight! - (groans)
(all) Scab! Scab! Scab! Scab! Scab! Scab! Scab!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! - Scab! Scab! Scab! Scab!
(all chant)
You and your brother are scabs!
(groans)
(all chant) Scab! Scab! Scab!
He's gone now! Let's make the movie!
(all cheer)
Hurry up, people! We're losing light.
- Come on. This thing stinks. - Sorry. OK. Ready?
Stand by, everybody! Stand by!
Action!
It looks brilliant!
Step on it, Trautman! We're going to save my dad!
- Argh! - What's wrong?
(yells)
Help!
Help! Help!
Help!
Didier! Help!
(metal creaks)
- Help! - (all scream)
Help!
(banging)
(groans)
I don't care what you and your so-called mates say about me,
but don't you ever, ever call my brother a scab!
You know, at least he's there for me! At least he cares about me,
which is more than I can say for you. You're a two-faced fake
like the rest of them. I am gutted it took me this long to work it out.
I am gutted I fell for it. Lawrence is better than all you lot put together,
and he's all I have got, alright? He's all I have got.
(sobs) I didn't come back for you anyway.
Where's my camera?
(sobs)
(creaking and rumbling)
Lee Can'ter! Get out!
(he screams)
(siren)
(sobs / moans)
(whimpers)
(man) William, do you know where your friend lives?
We need to contact his family.
(knock at door)
- Sister Mary? - Brother Joshua.
We have come to discuss your future with the Brethren.
Mary, I feel it best to come straight to the point.
We have had a group meeting,
and it has been decided that this must be your final warning.
If the boy isn't corrected,
I am afraid you and the family would face expulsion from the Brethren.
(sobs quietly)
(squeaking)
- (Mary) I need to talk to you. - (sobs)
It's just me. Please come out of there.
(sobs) I have spoilt everything!
(sobs)
Everything's ruined!
(sobs)
Shh.
(sniffs) Are they going to throw us out?
Shh. Shh. Everything's alright.
(she sobs)
I found a present in the garden.
(she sobs)
(shouting / cheering)
(all) Bye! See you! Bye!
Thanks.
Thanks. Thank you.
Thank you.
- (all) Bye! Au revoir! - Bye.
Didier.
(all) Bye! Bye!
(chattering)
(all gasp)
(all laugh)
(monitors beep)
(clattering)
I am sorry.
(they whisper)
What's he saying?
- He said you're his brother. - Look, this isn't my fault.
He just wants you to take this home for him.
Look at the state of it!
It's ruined.
He's been a very brave little boy, Mr Can'ter.
- You did! I watched you do it! - (both argue)
- Mum, it's Lawrence. - (they argue)
- Lawrence! - You always get so violent!
Well, it's not a good time for me, either!
- What? - (engine starts)
What? Look, I can't even...
(engine revs)
Get out of my car.
Out!
(TV)... the winner of our young-filmmakers competition.
We present you with this, on behalf of the judges and the BBC,
with our very hearty congratulations. Thanks very much for that super film.
Jan will be presenting the "Screen Test"...
(sound off)
Not eating, William?
You should be thankful for what your mother's cooked for you.
Would you like to get down, love?
My mother wouldn't let me get down till I'd finished everything on my plate.
Didn't the warning mean anything to you, Mary?
You know what happens if you don't teach him properly.
(all) Hurray!
- (distorted audio) - ... call my brother a scab.
At least he's there for me. At least he cares about me.
Which is more than I can say for you! You're a two-faced fake!
I am gutted it took me this long to work it out, gutted I fell for it!
Lawrence is better than all you lot...
- (knock at door) - (sound off)
This belongs to you.
Is it broken?
Can you fix it?
Cheer up, son. You're going home.
Exactly.
Here we are, then.
What's this?
Better find out.
(chattering)
(man over PA) Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's showing of Yentl
shall be preceded by a special short film.
- We're sure you will enjoy it. - (applause)
Sit there.
- (dramatic theme music) - And don't move.
(all laugh)
They took my father, Trautman. They drew first blood.
We're going to need guns. Loads of really massive guns.
- (all laugh) - (Will) Let's go!
- (engine roars) - What is that?
It's a flying dog!
- (machine-gun fire) - Duck! It's shooting at us!
Let's split up.
- OK. - (yells)
(Can'ter) They're firing at us! Take cover!
(Will) OK!
(whoops)
Who are you, sir?
- Zey call me ze Wolf. - I need to find my dad.
I help you to find your daddy man.
I am the evil scarecrow! Prepare to die!
(howls)
- What? - You killed the Wolf!
(dubbed over) He was a traitor. I could see it was a trap,
- set by the evil scarecrow. - Good work! I can't thank you enough.
You save your father. I will get the chopper so we can escape.
I have come to save you, Rambo!
We need to leave here right now, before the evil scarecrow finds us!
Come on, Dad! Come on!
(scarecrow roars / laughs)
(grunts)
Er... you win, Son of Rambo. Do me one favour before you go.
What?
- Tell my brother I was thinking of him. - I didn't know you had a brother.
Er, yes. Colonel Trautman, he's my brother.
Yes, he is.
And when you see my brother,
tell him I am sorry... that I haven't been there for him and that, yeah?
And say that I know we haven't been much of a family and all that, but...
but he's all I have got, too.
- God bless you, Evil Scarecrow. - Yeah, alright.
Let me die in peace, will you?
- (groans) - (audience laughs)
Dad, I am going home. There's a friend I have got to be with.
(Will) O my God, I have come to say thank you for your love today.
Thank you for my family and all the friends you give to me.
Guard me in the dark of night, and in the morning, send your light.
- Amen. - (audience cheers and applauds)
(cheering)
Hello, Lee Can'ter.
(laughs) My brother is the worst actor ever.
- (laughs) - He is pretty bad.
Yeah. He's even worse than that bloody French kid.
- (coughs) - We'd better go.
Yeah.
Thanks.
- Son of Rambo? - Yes, Colonel?
This has been my best day of all time.
("Close To Me" by The Cure)
# I have waited hours for this
# I have made myself so sick
# I wish I'd stayed
# Asleep today
# I never thought this day would end
# I never thought tonight could ever be
# This close to me
# Just try to see in the dark
# Just try to make it work
# To feel the fear
# Before you're here
# I make the shapes come much too close
# I pull my eyes out, hold my breath and wait
# Until I shake
# But if I had your face
# Then I could make it safe and clean
# Oh, if only I was sure
# That my head on the door was a dream
# I have waited hours for this
# I have made myself so sick
# I wish I'd stayed
# Asleep today
# I never thought this day would end
# I never thought tonight could ever be
# This close to me
# Yeah
# But if I had your face
# Then I could make it safe and clean
# Oh, if only I was sure
# That my head on the door was a dream
(Can'ter) By the way, you spelt the title slightly wrong.
- There's no Win Rambo. - (Will) Oh. OK.
(Can'ter) It was still good, though.